2016-08-08 / Entertainment

Father needs to spend more time with children

Sense & Sensitivity

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year, my husband promised me he would dial down at work to spend more time at home. He has missed most important milestones in our children’s lives, but I think he can redeem himself by being present now. Although I had his word, he broke his promise and is at work even more than last year. He’s missing our children grow up and laments this fact, but he also loves his job doing research in the medical field. I told him his job can wait because he will see his kids grow up only once. What else could I do to make him realize he’s a ghost to our children? – Workhorse, Jackson, Mississippi

DEAR WORKHORSE: Rather than making a blanket plea to get your husband to show up or a blanket guilt trip to make him feel bad for his absences, take another tack. Identify specific activities that you want your husband to attend. Suggest them one by one so that the request is not overwhelming. Have your husband put each item on the calendar well in advance. Then remind him a couple of times as you get close to the event. Once your husband has shown up, thank him, but do not make a big deal of it. Instead, just sign him up for the next activity in the near future, and work to get him there. Over time, you may be able to change your husband’s patterns without creating unnecessary discomfort.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed my vision getting worse. I strain my eyes to see screens and road signs that are far away. I am scared of getting contacts because I know they have led to vision loss and even blindness. I have been trying natural remedies to better my eyes, but they’re not as sharp as they used to be. Putting off the doctor only makes my family badger me more, but I am fearful that succumbing to contacts will make my vision worse or even leave me blind. What should I do? – Two Eyes, Dallas

DEAR TWO EYES: First, know that getting an eye exam does not automatically mean that you will be fitted for contact lenses. It does mean that the health of your eyes will be evaluated, and you will receive a recommendation for your next steps. As one who has worn glasses since the fifth grade, I can assure you that contact lenses will not be your first recommendation.

If you are found to need a corrective prescription, the first choice will likely be for you to wear glasses. Many people need glasses only for particular visual challenges and otherwise can go glasses free. Find out what your doctor recommends.

Also, please know that thousands of people wear contact lenses daily without any issues. When they are not worn according to the directions, not removed in a timely manner or not properly cleaned, you can run into risks. If you do decide to consider contact lenses, review the risks carefully with your doctor.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Return to top