2016-08-20 / Entertainment

Daughter needs extra time in the restroom

Sense & Sensitivity

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter goes to a Catholic K-8 elementary school. She wears a uniform and has very little freedom within the school. My daughter recently started her period, and she needs to go to the restroom more frequently than other kids. The problem is that the whole class walks down to the bathroom together twice a day. No other bathroom breaks are allowed unless it is a total emergency.

I know my daughter won’t bleed through her hygiene supplies; however, she is still getting used to this whole process and wants a second to be totally sure that she won’t bleed onto her seat. I was thinking about contacting her school about the bathroom rules, but I don’t want to mortify her. What would you do in my situation? – Menarche, Philadelphia

DEAR MENARCHE: This is a time when you probably should intervene and make the call. You can ask the administration to be discreet about dealing with your daughter’s situation so as not to embarrass her. The tricky part, however, is that whether they say anything to her, the class will notice if she is leaving the room independent of the group.

What you may want to ask is what policy they have in place to deal with students entering puberty. Obviously, your daughter is not the first student who needs to tend to her personal hygiene in this way. Do your best to work with the leadership to help your daughter without creating undue embarrassment. Be sure to let your daughter know that this is happening so that she is not caught off guard.

• • •

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband surprised me with a dress to wear out on our anniversary. I was surprised by this gesture and wore the dress proudly. I thought this would be a one-time thing. Now, my husband wants to dress me or gives his not-always positive input on my outfits. I took his first gesture as a fun way to connect, but now I’m regretting opening this door. How can I ask my husband to step back and to stop buying me the clothing he wants me to wear? – Fashion Emergency, Shreveport, Louisiana

DEAR FASHION EMERGENCY: Clearly, your husband is trying to send you a message. Before you say anything, do a visual review of what he has bought for you and what you have chosen for yourself. Figure out what the difference is between the two wardrobes and if there is anything that you like about his choices. This does not mean that you should feel OK about him putting down your choices. This may also be a fun way for you to connect with each other that sparks some youthful romance.

Feel free to tell him that while you enjoy dressing up for him, you want to take back the control of your wardrobe. Soften the blow by asking him what excites him in wardrobe choices so that you can sprinkle some of those features into your outfits.

— Lifestylist and author Harriette Cole is president and creative director of Harriette Cole Media. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.

Return to top